The Paradox

The resort where we stayed Holiday Inn Sun Spree

Mom and Dad with the Christmas decorations

Hello All! I hope you are having a most Wonderful week in our LORD. I just finished having a nice long weekend with mom and dad in MoBay but it opened my eyes to a few things. It was a paradox for me I loved getting to see my mom and dad and have some time to relax after the craziness of the end of the term with the kids. At the same time I hated it I was not completely comfortable at the resort knowing what I know about Jamaica and I felt guilty because everything seemed so easy and unmotivating. It just opened my eyes once more to remind me that this world is not my home and now more then ever I feel like I will never be completely comfortable or feel 100% at home again (having lived both in the states and Jamaica) until I get to my Heavenly home. I also really missed the kids having been gone from them only a few days but also knowing that when I did return they would not be here to greet me. Having been around them everyday most of the day for the last 2 months and then they are gone. I feel somewhat lost without them constantly there. I was thankful for the opportunity to be with my parents, but then then when it came time to say goodbye I realized that it is going to be hard every time and more ripping will occur each time i get to spend time with those i love but then have to say goodbye again. I keep reminding myself it would not hurt so much if i was not so loved. Tons of friends and family sent things from the states and seeing it all was very humbling for me. I feel very unworthy of all their love and support but i also appreciate it more then they could ever imagine. Thank you to everyone for the cards/gifts/hugs/ and pictures. I split all the Christmas cards i got into 8 piles (one for each day before Christmas) and then that way i get to open some each day. Its a great pick me up as I start my day but on the other hand i lay out the ones for the next day on the table when i am done. All day they sit there and tempt me to open them and not wait until the next day! Once i did get home (back to CCCD KP) i did get a nice surprise Sashania was still here! her student visa had not come in so it was a great welcome home feeling down about leaving my family but getting a big hug from her when i got home. Things have settled back into its groove and I have started working again. All day yesterday I cleaned out the store room at the school ( and will continue to do so for the next week its a disaster!) I think its so funny how some of the ladies here get all worked up and they think everything is going to make you sick. You can't walk in the rain it will make you sick. Yesterday some of them came up while i was cleaning the storm room and where SHOCKED that i was cleaning without a dust mask! "You are going to get so sick cleaning in here without a dust mask!" I am happy to say I am doing and feeling just fine cleaning without a dust mask. So for the dust has not made me sick:) Ok I need to go get lunch so I can continue cleaning the store room. It still does not feel like Christmas, but I am thankful at the same time because then it helps me to keep the real focus of why we celebrate Christmas and that is Christ's birth. I am still waiting for my Christmas cards to arrive so i can send them out. They are coming (I think!?) it just might be February before you get them! Have a great rest of the week I love you so very very very much. be blessed and be a blessing. -Erin-